


Chasing The Storm

by Sokorra



Series: The "Quote" Prompt Series [10]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Family, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:18:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is left with too much time to think while Donna's Recovering.  Spoilers till season 6</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This story is related to my story "Eye of the Storm" hence its title. You don't have to read that story to understand this one, but they are in the same story line. 
> 
> Secondly, this story is part of a series of multifandom fics based off a quote challenge I belong to on facebook. My problem is I can't restrain myself to a drabble.

  
_“I thought you were gonna die all alone in the dark._ ”  
Frances ‘The Deep’

~*~

Josh could count the moments he thought his heart had stopped. The day he looked behind him and saw his sister wasn’t there with him. The day he had gotten shot...although he was pretty sure his heart had actually stopped that time. And the day he walked into the hall, saw CJ’s eyes and heard the words explosion in Gaza.

He had stood there, just repeating Donna’s name to anyone who would listen and give him information. Toby had been the one to give it to him. He wondered if he had occurred to Toby that he had been the first to tell Donna that Josh had been hurt, and now he was the first to tell Josh that Donna had been hurt.

He wasn’t a complete idiot. A bit oblivious at times, but even he knew that the rest of their little family in the West Wing thought of him and Donna as a couple. And for the most part he had been fine with it. As long as no one brought it up, no one looked closer. Because he was also not oblivious to the fact that he had fallen in love with her.

Whether she felt something for him was up for debate, and he was pretty sure if she had felt something she probably didn’t feel it now. Not after she had been nearly blown apart on a trip he sent her on to appease her need to grow in her job. In actuality there was little he could to help her on that front. The only way she could get promoted was if she took his job. She practically did half of it anyway. There were days lately he wondered if maybe he should just let her have the job. It wasn’t like Leo and the President relied on him like they once did.

Not since Carrick.

But all that didn’t matter a bit now. All that had mattered had been getting to her. Leo had understood, and apparently so did many of the others. He found out when he called the airport that Toby had already arranged the ticket. When he arrived at the Hospital he found that the Leo himself had called ahead and told them to expect him, his spiel about his diplomatic rank not needed.

He briefly wondered, as he watched her sleep after her second surgery, if this was how she felt when he had been shot. Sitting there, not knowing how things would turn out. Feeling your heart twist as you thought of the possibilities.

Granted, she had not had to deal with finding out he had been seeing someone. Someone she had met at Gaza, and apparently hadn’t felt the need to tell him about. She usually told him about her dates. Not always their names, but at least that she was seeing someone. She stopped telling him names when she figured out that Sam and he would end up trying to find ways to ruin them. Mostly him, Sam probably shouldn’t be blamed. He had done background checks on a few of the gomers though.

The first time he remembered thinking about how much he loved her was the day she came back from Dr. Freeride. He really didn’t care that he knew the guy’s name now, Patrick Murdock, he’d always be Dr. Freeride, and always get derision for being Gomer the first. She had walked into the office, looking nervous and using crutches. CJ had been along side her, bringing her in like she was a lost chick that had been found and returned to the roost. And he had stood there in the back of the room, unnoticed by both knowing he was in trouble.

He was able to put that in a box. Tried to find rationalizations. Of course he loved her. She was a good secretary, a good partner. A good friend. But it couldn’t be anything more than that. And most of the time he was good at keeping that locked away.

But there were moments when it broke out, made him feel turned inside out. Like the day he was shot and he woke up wondering if she had been nearby, because he didn’t remember seeing her as they left. Or the time she told him the truth about what Murdock had done, and he heard her tell him she wouldn’t stop for red lights.

Neither had he.

There were moments when she would do something, come up with some great idea, or persuade someone easily when he would find himself wanting to tell her. The moments when she would look out for him were perhaps the hardest. She be fixing his tie, or arguing with him to eat something healthier and they’d catch each other’s eyes and he swore he could see there was something on her side too.

There was that moment at the Inaugural when she had just looked so beautiful in her black gown against the snowy background. Part of it had been attraction and part of it had been the relief in knowing she hadn’t betrayed them that way. And that she was no longer with sauve officer who had swept her off her feet and made Josh feel seven levels of stupid for not telling her sooner how he felt. Because Jack Reese was a person he could see himself loosing too. Up until he let Donna lie for him.

But he had never gotten the courage to tell her. There always seemed to be some crisis so he just folded his feelings back into the donna box in his head and pushed it aside to work on whatever needed worked on. Distracted himself by falling into Amy’s orbit again. Even though he knew he and Amy tended to treat each other badly when they were in a relationship.

Somehow he felt that just admitting that he was in love with Donna was like standing out in the middle of the hurricane. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to weather the storm.

But sitting here, watching her in the hospital bed made him wonder if he had just chased the wrong storm.

Colin Ayres was another person he could see himself losing to. Bright, generous and with a foreign accent, it was easy to see why he’d be appealing to Donna. And there was no history, no status-quo to think about. She had been so happy when Colin arrived Josh knew he was on the verge of losing her.

The problem was he didn’t think he could put his feelings back in the box again. Hearing she had been in that explosion had ripped the box to shreds. He had been so afraid she was going to die that he hadn’t even thought about hiding it. No one, not even himself would believe him if he said was merely his best friend.

“Josh?” He looked up, startled at hearing her voice. She called for him again, and he rose to look at her. “You’re still here?”

“Yeah.” he said feeling like he could cry. “Your mom’s here.” It had been odd, greeting Donna’s mother. Unlike Donna and his own mother, he had rarely talked to her parents. He had met them, sure, when Donna had first accepted the job at the White House. They had come for a tour, to make sure Donna was doing alright in DC. He had liked them, but didn’t have much contact with them after that. Not till he had to call and tell Amia Moss that her daughter was in critical condition being airlifted to a hospital in Germany.

Amia seemed to act like it wasn’t something new to spend time around him. Like he belonged there, with her.

He had a feeling she knew the truth too. Ayres had caught on quickly, Amia must have too.

He adjusted her blanket and looked at her. She looked so tired, so he was sure she’d drift off to sleep in a few minutes, but her face showed relief, as if she had expected him to be gone when she woke up.

He didn’t know how to deal with that.


End file.
